I never seem to have anything good to write about but I do have something on my mind today. I recently got called as the Assistant Secratary in the Relief Society in my ward. Through this calling comes responsibility and a feeling like I need to become closer to the Lord so I can have a little more insight on what is going on in my ward. It took 8 months for me to get a calling in this ward and I am only going to be here for a couple more months. Why is it that when something seems to be going right in my life I have to leave it? It happened in Idaho when I moved away from two of my best friends. Wonderful people who loved me and who were genuine in their friendship. People who have put up with me, liked me for who I am and who were always there for me. I still have yet to make a friend here that I feel I can rely on. I am grateful that I have my sisters, I love them and would do anything for them. I know they love me and I treasure their friendship so very much, but I cannot be with them all the time cause they have kids and are busy themselves.
I hate feeling alone and getting back to my point before, this calling has helped me realize that I am never alone. I have people in my ward that I can talk to and wonderful visiting teachers who care for me. I just need to rely on my Heavenly Father, more frequently and more intently so I never feel alone again. I sit at home alone at night while Spencer is working, and some nights I can't help but feel sorry for myself. Starting today, I am going to make an effort to feel loved and to feel like I have a constant companion, because I do, I just have to welcome Him in.
3 comments:
I know how you feel in respect to not finding close friends like we had in college. :) I have been here almost four years and I still feel lonely a lot. Plus I am the primary pianist and feel like there is not much spiritual upliftment there. I too have been trying to be better about relying on Christ. It is hard. Anyway, you are a great person and have such a great spirit about you. Thank you for sharing your thoughts. It is nice to know that I am not alone, although I do hope everything in your life is always great. Sorry, I am babbling. One more thing...Where are you moving to?
I struggle to make friends too. I have been in my new ward for almost a year and I am just barely starting to feel like I've got friends. I hate to admit it, but I actually left an enrichment night a few months crying because I felt so alone and friendless (I was also 7 mo prego at the time, so I can partially blame hormones). But I also realized that I had to make more of an effort to make friends in the ward, to get involved in the different activities that were offered. I dreaded it at first but it has helped SO much. I too am trying to rely more on Christ. I have struggled with trying to find balance as we have recently added on a little baby. I love being a mom but sometimes it becomes frustrating when Sean is gone so much and I am tired all the time. It is wonderful to know that Christ truly knows what I am going through and that He loves me no matter what. We are truly NEVER alone!
Good luck moving. Hope you enjoy your two months in your calling. I'm sure you will do a great job. Hope you make it back to Idaho soon!
Nicole! Call me! Kids are back in school now. I am lonesome too! Too much Haftado's and not enough WannaDos.
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